Sometimes, life will surprise you and when the surprise garners a reaction along the lines of “WTF!” this is the time to react and reflect privately. Particularly when dealing with people, publicly have grace, be polite and be brief.
Grace is thankfulness, a state of gratitude for objectively seeing what’s to be learned. What makes us uncomfortable, angry, fearful and agitated has much to teach us (as does how we react and manage our emotions).
Have you ever reflected upon what bothered you and written it down (and years later, read your journal only to see you knew something long before it revealed itself)?
It may be your body talking and telling you to not eat tomatoes.
It could be you have a funny feeling about taking a particular road home.
Perhaps when you’re just starting to date someone and they ask you to remove all your items from their house before their sisterly friend comes over, your eyebrows should raise.
Moral of the story?
If there are red flags and something tells you that something isn’t quite right, LISTEN.
Pay attention to yellow flags, white flags and especially RED flags. See what’s being shown to you, not just what’s being said.
I think people often poo-poo the idea of intuition and the feminine side of everyone is suppressed by such poo-pooing. A greater wisdom is accessible and very REAL so honor it.
If you have a hunch that someone isn’t quite what they say they are, give it time and eventually it will reveal itself.
What about forgiveness?
Begin with forgiving yourself in that you didn’t trust yourself and made being “in love” or “nice” or “loyal” or “practical” more important than your truth.
What about closure?
Ask yourself who is it for and what does it represent. Sometimes the permission slip you’re wanting to give something or someone else is REALLY about you. The degree to which you want to give someone the chance to make up for their mistakes is the degree to which you wished someone did the same for you. So do that. Closure can come in a different form than expected. It could come as a dream, a conversation with someone who went through something similar. Making amends and talking it out isn’t always the answer, especially when there hasn’t been space, time and growth to really see things differently (or objectively).
What about being open-hearted?
Never give anyone the power to close your heart or revoke your innocence. DO ask questions, seek truth, keep an open mind, honor your heart and cultivate an even wiser approach to observing people and situations. You can love and have compassion for everyone, truly EVERYONE but that doesn’t mean you invite anyone to come into your life, your bed, your inner circle.
Would you invite some random person to your therapy session? Nope. Probably not.
Should you invite Jack to your birth?
Your time, body, energy and heart are precious so be discerning with how, what, when and why your share. Just use common sense combined with what you feel.
What you feel is unique to you and it’s your emotional guidance system that helps you know YOUR TRUTH for what’s right for you.
Here’s to the love and lessons,